What do you do?

I went to pilates this evening. It is held in a room at the gym that is pretty bare which means you can hear everything. I was in class with probably 10 people. The music was up loud but you could still hear the instructor. We were in the middle of an exercise where you curl up like a ball and roll back and forth from your butt to your back. I'm in the zone, I'm doing the rolling, I'm focused. And then it happens. Pffffff. The woman next to me farts, loudly. Some how I keep my composure. I don't laugh and I keep doing the exercise. It took all of my strength to not laugh. Then we have moved on to another exercise, I forget which one. And it happens again. Pffffff. From the same damn woman. Again I keep my composure. How? I don't know. We have moved on to the stretching part of the class. I want to say this isn't true, but it happens again. Pffffff. Does this woman have no control over her bodily functions? I can't handle it any longer, I have to put my head down and focus on not laughing. I some how keep it together until the end.

A letter

Dear Brigham Young University Athletic Department,

Thank you for your pledged donation of "Quest for Perfection" and "National Champions 2008" T-Shirts that you are sending to my country. Because of your generous donation, 25,000 needy children will have a new shirt for Christmas this year.

The "New England Patriots: Super Bowl Champions" T-Shirts are beginning to be old and worn. We are very grateful for your generous donation and are looking forward to receiving the annual spring shipment, "BYU NCAA Tournament 1st Round winners" this year again as well. Although this shipment is very generous, we are still in need of many thousand more T-Shirts to meet our needs.

If you could kindly send a shipment of leftover "Max Hall for Heisman" shirts that would be plenty appreciated.

Best Regards,

President Hu Jintao

China

I might have a problem

My name is Brooke and I'm a shopaholic. I have an addiction to shopping, in particular, online shopping. I have my debit card number memorized so I don't even need to waste time taking it out of my wallet. I literally ran out of hangers in my house today while trying to hang up my new purchases that came in the mail yesterday. I even gathered a pile of clothes to sell at Plato's Closet on Saturday and I still didn't have room for my new clothes. This is generally what happens when I finish laundry. All my clothes are clean and need a place to go, yet I have no room for all of them. I have a problem.

Tylenol Severe Cold + A hat blocking my vision =

Backing into a dumpster in the Buffalo State parking lot.

They might mean it when they say not operate a moving vehicle after taking this medication.

Last week I also managed to damage my front driver's side hub cap trying to drive on to the car wash track at Delta Sonic. I blame the Delta Sonic worker who sprayed my windshield with water right before I was to pull on the track. I couldn't see where I was going and I couldn't hear what the kid was yelling and I bent the shit out of my hub cap.

I do find all of this hilarious though. I'm retarded. Never in all of my life have I done so much damage to my car than I have in the past year.

James's birthday part 1 of 3

For James's birthday I bought him (us) tickets to two Sabres games. Last night was the first game we had tickets to, and the first game we had been to this season. I got the tickets in the 300 level because it's higher up and you can see the whole rink. And the first two rows are padded seats and they have cup holders. The Sabres beat the Blues after a two game losing streak, whew. The game was really exciting in the first period. We scored three times and there were two fights. The rest of the game was kind of boring, they only scored once more. It was a good time. And in two weeks we get to go to another game with Rachel and Eron when they are in town. I scored really good seats at center ice, row 3. Don't ask how much they were cause you will call me crazy. But it was for Eron's birthday. Here are some pictures, enjoy! PS - The third part of his birthday is his actual birthday for which I have another awesome gift to give.

Today's Traffic Lesson

If you are at red light at an intersection, you are not supposed to turn if the on coming traffic has a green arrow. Duh. Otherwise I might come through the intersection, turning left with my green arrow and have to slam on my brakes cause you are too dumb to realize that you can't turn and then I will proceed to roll down my window, shout that you are a dumb bitch who can't turn right when I have a green arrow to turn left and give you the finger. Don't look at me with your dumb face and wonder what I'm talking about cause you are dumb. You are only allowed to turn right on a red light if the intersection is clear. If I have a green arrow and I'm turning into the intersection, it is not clear and you cannot turn right.

Here is what various traffic lights mean:

STEADY RED:

Stop. Do not go until the light is green. If a green arrow is shown with the red light, you may go only in the direction of the arrow and only if the way is clear.

You may make a right turn at a steady red light after coming to a full stop and yielding the right-of-way to oncoming traffic and pedestrians. You may make a left turn at a steady red light when turning from a one-way road into another one-way road after coming to a full stop and yielding the right-of-way to oncoming traffic and pedestrians.

You may not make a turn at a red light if there is a NO TURN ON RED sign posted, or another sign, signal or pavement marking prohibits the turn. Also, turning on a red light is not allowed in New York City unless a sign is posted permitting it.

The driver of a school bus carrying pupils may not turn right on any red light.

I love PC

One of our friends, PC, is an electrician and he offered to come over and hang some new light fixtures for us. Well he only offered because I asked him everytime I saw him if he would come over and do it since James has no "handyman skills". I would do it myself but electricity is one thing that scares, cause I'm afraid I'm going to electrocute myself and no one will find me before I have burned to death. It's a small fear. So he hung a new light in our kitchen, entry way and the top of the stairs. Now I have no more ugly, gold lights in my house! (this is the least of my problems though) The thing I am most excited for is he and James hung our replacement cabinet after the old one fell off!!! It's only taken us 6 months to hang it but I don't care. It's up and I can put dishes in it instead of on a desk in the corner, yeah!!! It's the little things that excite me.

I also did some handyman work myself this past weekend. It's only taken me a year and a half to do all this since we moved in.

I hung our painting.

I hung one of my Ansel Adams frames.

I hung another Ansel Adams frame. I like his work if you couldn't tell.

I put that rubber modling on the floor of the closet. And organized the closet, but that's not really a handyman skill.

Also, not really a handyman skill, but I bought new autumn placemats for the table.

You can see where I kept my dishes until my new cabinet was put in.

Here's James folding the laundry because I told him he had to since I was such a man all day doing handyman work.

How I feel today

Performance Fleece

Don't ask why but everytime I hear about Performance Fleece at Old Navy I sing this song... (This is for you Ann!)

Performance Fleece,

Ooo it's fine.

Performance Fleece,

I'll be there at nine.

I'm going to go,

with you as my guest.

In Performance Fleece,

We'll be the best dressed.

Old Navy, Old Navy,

Performance Fleece.

Black Out

I love Utah football!!!!!!!!

#8 Utah 13 #12 TCU 10