Helpful Hint

James and I were on our way out the other day to meet some friends for dinner and we were arguing who was going to drive. We always argue over this and it's not like we have a long way to drive, every where we go it's not more than a 10 minute drive. So the sneaky person that I am, I purposely left my keys on the table in the house so that when James came out he would have to drive. As he was walking out he saw my keys and picked them up and asked if I was driving and I said no. So he comes out the door, locks it and pulls it shut. We get in the car and he looks around for his keys and then asks me where they are. I'm not the watcher of keys so I say why don't you have them. And we both realize that he left them inside our house which is now locked. All the windows are locked tight because we checked them before we turned the furnace on for the year. After my tantrum where I swore so much that a sailor would blush, I call a locksmith. Forty minutes later (he said it would be 15 minutes) he shows up. He indicates that he will first try to pick the lock but if that doesn't work he will have to drill it. Three minutes later the door is unlocked. The locksmith came into the house so that we could pay him for his services, which he priced at $165. Yes, that's right, for 3 minutes of work we had to pay him $165. Have you ever felt what it's like to get kicked in the stomach by a horse? Me either, but that's what I imagined my feeling was like when he said $165. But what would have been my basis for my argument? He let me into my own house. We could have refused to pay him and he could have shut the door on us. I'm not even sure what this man does with his fees that he charges people. He drove up in a van that barely made it down the street. He certainly wasn't dressed the nicest. If I was charging people $165 for 3 minutes of work, I would be wearing Gucci suits to unlock peoples doors. That way they would know that they are about to be ripped off. Or what would have been easier is if he would have just punched me in the face a few times, I would have rather done that then pay the $165. He was even polite enough to give us a break down of his ridiculous fee, $40 to come to our house, $120 to unlock the door. So the helpful hint of the day is: Have a hide-a-key or give a key to a friend, a neighbor, a bum on the street or even the cat next door.

Fun in the car waiting for the locksmith

Why did the Utes win over BYU?

Cause I wore my lucky Utah Alumni Pin and my lucky JC Penny Utah tube socks to win. Not to mention my red sweater. Plus, they are really good at football.

*Nerd Alert*

I was informed last week that I will be hosting Thanksgiving at my house this year. Yes, it was quite the shock. But there has been an issue with cat hair in the food at *cough* James's mom's house *cough*. Rachel (James's sister-in-law) brought up an idea that we could make Thanksgiving dinner at my house as a wedding present for James's mom. His parents are getting married to each other, for the first time, tomorrow. DON'T ASK. Anyway, at first I thought Rachel was joking, but she wasn't and I'm stuck hosting. I've never made a meal this big for this many people before. I didn't even have enough chairs for everyone, I had to go buy two more. I even had to go buy more place mats because all mine are in a set of 4, not 6. I'm a bit nervous about the whole deal. I've got my meal plan and all the recipes for them. Since I like to be super organized (aka a big nerd), I've put my shopping list and my cooking time line into a spreadsheet. I even went online and checked which store has better prices for items. Tonight I will be checking to see what coupons I have. I've put James in charge of the actual shopping since I have to work tomorrow and he doesn't. We'll see how well that goes. You can't see them that well, but you get the gist of how big of a nerd I am. I even have a legend for the shopping list which indicates which items we already have, which items I'm not sure if we have, items to buy at Tops, items to buy at Wegman's, and items that are a free-for-all. Ugh, I'm such a nerd.

Oh, how I hate BYU.

Today is the day. The biggest day of the year, the whole year. Forget Christmas, forget New Year's, forget your birthday. Today is they day of the Holy War. Everyone knows what it is, they have been preparing for weeks. If you don't know what it is, you live under a rock. Today is the day BYU gets their asses handed to them on a Crimson platter. We could have gone 0-11 up until this point and a win against BYU would be a winning season. But we haven't, we have gone 11-0. Today is the day we will win the Mountain West Conference. Today is the day we are invited to a BSC bowl. Today is the day the Zoobies cry themselves to sleep because they have realized they cheer for a bunch of losers.

What do you do?

I went to pilates this evening. It is held in a room at the gym that is pretty bare which means you can hear everything. I was in class with probably 10 people. The music was up loud but you could still hear the instructor. We were in the middle of an exercise where you curl up like a ball and roll back and forth from your butt to your back. I'm in the zone, I'm doing the rolling, I'm focused. And then it happens. Pffffff. The woman next to me farts, loudly. Some how I keep my composure. I don't laugh and I keep doing the exercise. It took all of my strength to not laugh. Then we have moved on to another exercise, I forget which one. And it happens again. Pffffff. From the same damn woman. Again I keep my composure. How? I don't know. We have moved on to the stretching part of the class. I want to say this isn't true, but it happens again. Pffffff. Does this woman have no control over her bodily functions? I can't handle it any longer, I have to put my head down and focus on not laughing. I some how keep it together until the end.

A letter

Dear Brigham Young University Athletic Department,

Thank you for your pledged donation of "Quest for Perfection" and "National Champions 2008" T-Shirts that you are sending to my country. Because of your generous donation, 25,000 needy children will have a new shirt for Christmas this year.

The "New England Patriots: Super Bowl Champions" T-Shirts are beginning to be old and worn. We are very grateful for your generous donation and are looking forward to receiving the annual spring shipment, "BYU NCAA Tournament 1st Round winners" this year again as well. Although this shipment is very generous, we are still in need of many thousand more T-Shirts to meet our needs.

If you could kindly send a shipment of leftover "Max Hall for Heisman" shirts that would be plenty appreciated.

Best Regards,

President Hu Jintao

China

I might have a problem

My name is Brooke and I'm a shopaholic. I have an addiction to shopping, in particular, online shopping. I have my debit card number memorized so I don't even need to waste time taking it out of my wallet. I literally ran out of hangers in my house today while trying to hang up my new purchases that came in the mail yesterday. I even gathered a pile of clothes to sell at Plato's Closet on Saturday and I still didn't have room for my new clothes. This is generally what happens when I finish laundry. All my clothes are clean and need a place to go, yet I have no room for all of them. I have a problem.

Tylenol Severe Cold + A hat blocking my vision =

Backing into a dumpster in the Buffalo State parking lot.

They might mean it when they say not operate a moving vehicle after taking this medication.

Last week I also managed to damage my front driver's side hub cap trying to drive on to the car wash track at Delta Sonic. I blame the Delta Sonic worker who sprayed my windshield with water right before I was to pull on the track. I couldn't see where I was going and I couldn't hear what the kid was yelling and I bent the shit out of my hub cap.

I do find all of this hilarious though. I'm retarded. Never in all of my life have I done so much damage to my car than I have in the past year.

James's birthday part 1 of 3

For James's birthday I bought him (us) tickets to two Sabres games. Last night was the first game we had tickets to, and the first game we had been to this season. I got the tickets in the 300 level because it's higher up and you can see the whole rink. And the first two rows are padded seats and they have cup holders. The Sabres beat the Blues after a two game losing streak, whew. The game was really exciting in the first period. We scored three times and there were two fights. The rest of the game was kind of boring, they only scored once more. It was a good time. And in two weeks we get to go to another game with Rachel and Eron when they are in town. I scored really good seats at center ice, row 3. Don't ask how much they were cause you will call me crazy. But it was for Eron's birthday. Here are some pictures, enjoy! PS - The third part of his birthday is his actual birthday for which I have another awesome gift to give.

Today's Traffic Lesson

If you are at red light at an intersection, you are not supposed to turn if the on coming traffic has a green arrow. Duh. Otherwise I might come through the intersection, turning left with my green arrow and have to slam on my brakes cause you are too dumb to realize that you can't turn and then I will proceed to roll down my window, shout that you are a dumb bitch who can't turn right when I have a green arrow to turn left and give you the finger. Don't look at me with your dumb face and wonder what I'm talking about cause you are dumb. You are only allowed to turn right on a red light if the intersection is clear. If I have a green arrow and I'm turning into the intersection, it is not clear and you cannot turn right.

Here is what various traffic lights mean:

STEADY RED:

Stop. Do not go until the light is green. If a green arrow is shown with the red light, you may go only in the direction of the arrow and only if the way is clear.

You may make a right turn at a steady red light after coming to a full stop and yielding the right-of-way to oncoming traffic and pedestrians. You may make a left turn at a steady red light when turning from a one-way road into another one-way road after coming to a full stop and yielding the right-of-way to oncoming traffic and pedestrians.

You may not make a turn at a red light if there is a NO TURN ON RED sign posted, or another sign, signal or pavement marking prohibits the turn. Also, turning on a red light is not allowed in New York City unless a sign is posted permitting it.

The driver of a school bus carrying pupils may not turn right on any red light.