Matches

Here is a little story about what you should do with matches after they are lit. A little background to this story is that I gave James "special" fart matches for Christmas as a joke.

Last night when James came home from work he needed to "sit in his office" as he calls it. He gets his new, special matches out of his stocking and goes into the bathroom. I go upstairs to put on some sweatpants to get ready for our Wii party. When I come back downstairs, James had finished in his office and I smelled something burning. Here is the rest of our conversation:

Brooke: What's burning?

James: I lit a match out here to burn a candle.

Brooke: Oh, ok. It smells funny, not like a candle.

James: It might be my fart matches, maybe they have a special scent to cover my stench.

Brooke: It's probably toxic and we will die from the fumes.

(About 2-3 minutes pass by)

Brooke: Do you smell something burning? It smells funny.

James: My matches smell like inscents.

Brooke: Hmm, I don't think so.

(As I'm walking to the bathroom, smoke is filling the kitchen and it's coming from underneath the bathroom door. I open the bathroom door and smoke is every where. There is a small flame in the garbage can.)

Brooke: Holy shit! The garbage can is on fire!

(I grab the garbage to run outside with it. James comes running and takes the garbage can outside and puts snow in it. I start fanning the kitchen so the obnoxious, industrial strength smoke alarm doesn't go off. James comes back in.)

Brooke: What the F**k is wrong with you?! Who puts matches in the garbage can?! Why did you not put it in the toilet stupid?!

James: I always do that.

Brooke: And what matches smell like inscents, dummy?

James: Ones that cover farts.

Brooke: I'm going to kill you.

(I open the sliding glass door and the front door to let the house air out.)

James: It's cold in here.

Brooke: No shit. I'm going to make you go stand outside in it. And you always put the matches in the garbage can?

James: Yeah.

Brooke: It's probably best that you don't do that anymore.

James: I agree.