Finally!

Last month I had decided that I need to learn how to use my sewing machine. I feel bad every time I see it sitting in it's box in the closet. But the last time I tried to use it (the first time ever) it did not go well and I got very angry (see here). James even suggested that I put it away for a while so I could calm down. There was finally a Sewing 101 class that I could attend at JoAnn's Fabric. I called JoAnn and she signed me up for this morning. I got there early so I could pick out the supplies I needed. The class was from 9:30 to noon and there were 5 other girls in the class with me. Lisa the instructor was awesome! I didn't bring my instruction booklet (duh) with me and she couldn't figure out how to thread my machine (cause it's front loading?) so she went around asking the other instructors how to do it. I can now thread my machine, sew a straight seem and a zig-zag seam. And I made a pocket!! I'm very excited that I know how to use this damn thing. I even bought some quilting squares to practice on. I am now part of the sewing machine users club!

My pocket!

Stuff in my pocket!

My New Mug

Happy Inauguration Day

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."

-Abraham Lincoln

"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and success of freedom."

-John F Kennedy

Quote of the Day

I get the quote of the day from the Foundation for a Better Life and I thought today's quote was worth sharing.

“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”

—Anne Bradstreet (1612-1672); writer, poet, first woman to be published in Colonial America

Theater Rules

Last night me and my friends went to see Rent at Shea's Theater downtown. Now, I've been to the theater before and I was taught it was kind of a "fancy" affair that you wore nice clothes to. There is certain etiquette that you follow at the theater. So even though I'm not a consistent theater goer, I thought I'd share some etiquette tips for the theater, or these could be applied to general society.

- Don't sing along with the play to the top of your lungs and then act annoyed that people ask you to stop.

- Don't take your bag of Skittles and crinkle the wrapper all the way to your mouth, tip your head back and pour the Skittles into your mouth. This is gross and noisy.

- Don't take your box of Butterfingers, crinkle the box all the way to your mouth, tip your head back and pour the Butterfingers into your mouth. This is gross and noisy and is making me want to vomit. (Same person)

- Don't get the twitches during the play because you are now on a sugar high. Stop scratching your head constantly and moving it around like it's about to fall off.

- Don't keep raising your hands and putting your elbow on your neighbors shoulders, the people behind you can't see.

- Stop checking your cell phone. The bright light is distracting. You are not as popular as you think you are because I can see that you have had no texts or calls each time you check.

- Take your stupid bluetooth out of your ear and put it in your purse. You will not be using it during the play and the light blinking every three seconds is f-ing annoying.

- Please wear underwear to the theater. We can see your ass crack because your beer belly is too big to pull your pants over it to keep them up. You have now turned me off Sour Patch kids.

- Don't buy a water bottle at intermission and tap on it. I will ask you to stop because it is super annoying.

- If you want to rub your significant other's leg, please do it quietly or at home.

If you do this, please stop

For the love of sweet Lincoln's mullet, DO NOT talk on your cell phone while using a public restroom. The people in the other stalls do not want to hear your conversation and I'm sure the person on the other line does not want to here toilets flushing. Your cell phone is now un-sanitary, and you need to spray it with lysol. This also goes for conversations in elevators. Please tell the person to hold while you are in the elevator or take the stairs. It's just awkward for everyone involved.

Ooooooh, a heat wave

No, actually not a heat wave. It is the exact opposite. Today's high in Buffalo is supposed to be 12 degrees. Right now it is 3 degrees with a wind chill of -9 degrees. Humidity is at 83%. Let me just describe to you what -9 degrees feels like. If you go outside with no layers on it feels like you are outside naked and the cold wind is blowing onto you, the coldness goes right through your clothes. This is why they tell you to layer up. Any part of your body that is not covered by something (ie your neck between your scarf and hat, your face, the skin between your gloves and coat) will feel like it is literally frozen and will start to hurt. If you are not wearing gloves (or your fingers are exposed from your circumcised gloves) your fingers will hurt from the cold and you will not be able to use them. Not even to hold onto your ice scraper that has now broken because the ice is too thick to scrape. Your ice scraper will now look like a southern man who is missing most of his teeth. When the cold hits your face with 83% humidity, you will lose your breath it is so cold. You will want to breath in deep and feel like you can't and you won't get any air and you will start coughing and feel like your lung is about to come through your throat. This is why people wear scarves around their face and mouth. Even your toes are cold and hurt when you move them. The coldness of -9 degrees with 83% humidity makes you feel like your bones are cold and you feel like you are never going to get warm.

Follow Up

Right after I posted about being crazy, my sister sent me this. Apparently she knows I'm crazy too.

:: BREAKING NEWS ::: In 2009 the government will start deporting all the mentally ill people. I started crying when I thought of you. Run my little crazy friend, run! Well, what can I say ?? Someone sent it to me, and dammit, I'm NOT going alone !! Have a Nice Day!!!

I know I'm crazy

I've come to the conclusion that I'm crazy. Not crazy as in "I'm going to shank you with a sharp object crazy", but more the "I'm making up reasons to make myself crazy crazy". I haven't always been this way. These innocent thoughts were developed over time into crazy nightmare thoughts. There were some incidents that caused me to start thinking differently. (I won't go into those details) The following are just some of the reasons are why I'm crazy:

1. When I go to sleep at night I think that my house is going to burn down. So I have to sleep on the side of the bed next to the window in case I need to escape. I also have to have the door shut so the smoke doesn't come in and asphyxiate me. (Probably my most crazy thought.)

2. I think I smell smoke. All the time. Which means I always think something is on fire. I'll even wake up in the middle of the night thinking I smell smoke and have to calm myself down. (I have something about fire)

3. When I get a sore throat, I think I'm choking to death because I already have an enlarged thyroid.

4. Sometimes I think James has died somewhere. If he doesn't pick up or text back, for some reason I think he's dead. One time I even looked online where his class was supposed to be at UB and went there and looked for him because he was 40 minutes late coming home. I called my BFF Kristin while doing it telling her I was crazy but I kept going. He had forgot his phone and went to the store to buy milk and bread.

5. When I fly on a plane I think it will crash. Everytime. I will be sick to my stomach the whole day we are flying.

6. I carry hand sanitizer in my purse and use it after touching things in public places. I remind myself of Bob from What About Bob.

7. When my furnace goes on, I think it's going to blow up from a gas leak.

8. I don't allow James to have his grill near the house, it has to be on the opposite side of the deck. This is because I think it's going to start the house on fire.

9. I have to have the radio or tv on at all times while at home. I can't be in silence.

10. When I know I have to undo the alarm at work, I start shaking and get sick to my stomach. I've yet to have the cops come because I don't punch the code in time, but it still scares the be-jeezus out of me.

I know I've inherited this craziness from my aunts, they admit their crazy too. They give James an insight into our future. He should beware!

RIP Mitch

I'm sad to say that James's snake, Mitch, passed on to pet heaven last night. James had been saying that he didn't look well and he only ate one of the three mice he put in his cage. I thought he was just being temper mental. Then last night James went to give him more water and said he looked like death and I disagreed. At about 2am I got up to go to the bathroom and I checked on Mitch and he had passed. I unplugged the light to the cage and tried to go back to bed. I couldn't sleep knowing that I'd have to tell James. So I went downstairs and watched some Little Miss Sunshine but still couldn't fall asleep. At about 4am I went back up stairs and finally fell asleep. When James woke up I had to tell him about Mitch and I felt really bad. James hasn't had good luck with pets. His first Iguana died in his water dish. His second Iguana, Chong, we had to give away because he was so mean. His bearded dragon, Spizike, died cause it was too cold in our apartment. Then Blue, one of his turtles, was stolen from his kiddie pool on our back deck. But, Roger, our other turtle, is now 25 years old and goin' strong.

RIP Mitch